Something has to be said

There's not many things that leaves me speechless, but on this occassion the right words to convey how I feel just refuses to materialise. My grandfather passed away in the early hours of Wednesday morning and after a long, laborious flight, my mum only arrived at his house at 8 am so she never got to see him before he died.

I saw my grandpa last summer when I was backpacking with Charlotte and Matt, he was incredibly frail. How 5 years had taken its toll on his aged body. When I was last in Vietnam with my ma and Thi, he was fit and healthy, and he came travelling with us around the southern coast of Vietnam.

I have had no personal experiences with bereavement, no one I have known has died so I cant fully understand these strange, alien feelings. Distance and circumstances prevented any close relationship from forming between us; my family left Vietnam when I was four, and only returned again 11 years later, and then I came back alone last year. In his passing, I felt regret, guilt, and a deep sense of loss for a relationship that was never discovered. My dad's father died a long time before I was even born so he was the only grandpa I've ever had. This is not an entry I had particularly wanted to write, but I couldnt allow the passing of my grandpa to go unregistered in this account of my life. I apologise for not telling my friends personally, I just couldnt find the right words.