A Rant

For a person who can talk for England, I find it so difficult here to adjust to my lack of Japanese and the inability to effectively convey myself. The simplest of things become arduous when considering the fact that I am Japanese illerate: cant read a single word, baby. Grrrr! So its a mission to go shopping- remember the vinegar and oil incident?; checking the balance of my Japanese bank account; buying lunch, sending a friggin' letter to England; following cooking instructions; deciphering notices; using my rice cooker; the list is endless...

I always have to rely on someone else to help me, to explain, translate. I cant do anything for myself, where is my friggin' independence?! Its so infuriating, I feel trapped in this useless shell. What's brought this on, I hear you say? Its been bubbling up for a while, but I've tried to contain it and concentrate on learning Japanese instead. Then the Japanese teachers tell me they dont think I am working hard enough when I already put in two hours a night! This is really harsh since Japanese culture dictates that being direct equates to rudeness, so for them to point that out so bluntly means I must really suck.

Last week I was shopping for mummy's birthday present in Sakae (home to all the good shops) and was wondering around all the department stores in a world of my own, I only had eyes for the gorgeous shoes and bags! I never pay any attention to the announcements since I have no hope in hell of understanding them, so I was wondering around and I noticed the sales assistant all coming out of their areas and bowing as I walked by so I bowed back. I thought to myself, the service is bloody good here, this didnt happen at the last store. I was shopping for another 15 minutes, then decided to abandon the search for the perfect present until another day. I couldnt get out because all the exits were closed so I managed to find a lady who was trying very hard to tell me something but couldnt. She disappeared and returned after a while and finally I got the message. The store had closed already and I didnt know because I couldnt understand what was being said in the announcements. I looked around, and sure enough, all the lights were dimmed and everybody was cleaning. Im such a cretin for not noticing that early, I can be so oblivious to things at times. So embarrassed, apologised profusively and made a mental note to learn the word for 'closed'.

Anyway, I went to the student union shop today to buy a photocopying card, and couldnt read the kanji underneath it. Spent $50 and it turns out that the notice read 'you cant use this card on xerox machines'. Great. So I asked around in very bad Japanese for the right machine, and turns out I have to go to the counter at the back of the store. It took me a good five minutes to convey that I want to buy a photocopying card. Another mission to find a photocopying machine, and then onto the joyful task of figuring out what each word on the keypad meant. All in all, something that should have taken me 2 minutes tops ended up wasting 15 minutes of my time. The exasperation seeps from my soul, oh save me from these shackles...